Thursday, January 8, 2009

hey, wait!

I haven't blogged in so long I almost forgot what it is like. I always have this problem of narrating in my head and then later forgetting to write anything down. The one advantage, of course, of not writing in so long is that I have a lot more to talk about. It is an understatement to say how much of a whirl wind my life has been the past few months. Someone decided to hire me as an English teacher and also grant me no free time and the added bonus of having no life. I wake up anywhere from 4:30 am-5:00 am. I didn't even know people actually woke up at those hours on a regular basis. Turns out that they do. The news is aired at that hour, coffee shops and gas stations are all open. Just when you are thinking I must get out of work super early because I have to be at work so early--nope! Some evenings last until 6 or 7 pm. Tuesday nights I have class until 8-9pm and one Saturday a month I have class as well. Evenings and weekends I spend almost all free time grading papers or commuting an hour each way. I'll admit that occasionally I will play video games. This is only to escape from my own mind and all of the troubles about the 90 students that will probably fail and work at McDonald's. Just now I had to look up the proper capitalization and punctuation, probably because I've never had to work there. I can say with all honesty that I absolutely do not like my job right now. I feel no need to complain about it though because I've already got a new job. I must be the only person in this economy to have landed two jobs within the past few months. I am thankful that I am employed but I've realized that I'm the only person that can really make myself happy. I didn't ever realize how much that pisses people off. Some people just walk around in life not enjoying much of anything. OR They walk around not being interested in anything. Everything is UGHH, BORING! I can never understand why people seem to choose to be so miserable. 
I am not choosing that life for me. At least not while I'm this young. I imagine that someday I might grow old (If the world doesn't end in 2012 of course, according to the history channel) and I'll be a crotchety old curmudgeon. 
Recap on the past few months:

-Left Salvation Army with about two days notice :(
-Bought one car, returned it. Bought a VW Jetta and kept it. 
-Started new job at the end of Sept. on a Monday
-Got pulled over on my first day of work getting on the highway. Headlight out, no ticket. 
-Started teaching two 9th grade honors English classes and one 9th grade regular Grammar. 
Nothing but Grammar for 90 mins, 5 days a week. Students had a substitute for 6 weeks before my arrival. 
-Went to Urgent Care on a Saturday because I was so ill and run down. 
-Voted for Obama and he won! 
-Took the Praxis Exam on my birthday weekend ($200 and roughly 3-4 hrs on a Saturday) 
-Thought I failed Praxis Exam because I did not study.
-Got a speeding ticket on my way home from work one day. 
-Had an interview for West Johnston HS (20 mins from my house!!!) for a 12th grade class.
-Went to court for the speeding ticket the day before Thanksgiving because I had to work and I got out of it but still had to pay ridiculous amounts of money.
- Graded papers all during Thanksgiving weekend.
-Decided that I would not make it through December. Counted down the days until Christmas break. 
-Got an email from West Johnston saying that I did not get the job. :(
-Decided to drive up to NY with Josh and leave work a day early. 
-Arrived in NY at 7 am on Friday
-Called HR at West Johnston to return their phone call. They offered me a job and I accepted! 
-Found out that I passed my Praxis Exam! 
-Threw up on a plane going to Boston. For some reason the plane couldn't land and we circled around Boston for 45 mins over the airport in turbulent, snowy weather, eventually I just lost it. A few other people did too but it was still the worst flight of my life. 
-Lost my cell phone in the cab immediately after leaving the airport.

I was so happy to finally be back in Raleigh. No snow, no airplanes, not nearly as cold, and far fewer people to please. I love going home and seeing everyone but it is almost always, stressful. Someday I would like to go home and leave feeling refreshed and relaxed. I watched this movie with my mom one morning called Waitress with Kerri Russell. I thought it was going to be really cheesy and in some ways it was. Her character made all these pies and she kept coming up with all these cool names for them like, "I don't want to have this baby, pie" Over the past few days I've been thinking about pie names for all of the  things I've been going through. 

"I can't stand working here, pie." or "I wish this day would end, pie." or "My dog probably hates me because I'm home so late and he really has to pee, pie." or "Fucking traffic sucks, pie." 

Why couldn't I get a job making pies like that? That is something I could really do. 

I had a student give me the first three chapters to a book that he's writing. It looks a lot like the LOTR with all the different races and lands but it is actually pretty good. I was telling him that I never have time to write any more. He just simply looked at me and said, "It's easy, you just have to get into it." I got thinking about that and he's absolutely right. I'm the only one ever holding myself back. Of course I'm sure he hasn't had the experience of writing something and then later regretting it. Maybe he has, who knows. I'm always thinking about that before I write and then I end up not writing. What do you even call that? It's not writer's block. Maybe it's more of a phobia? I'm sure it is some type of neuroses. As for me I think I'm going to get back on the wagon. I've been running along side it for far too long. 

Wish me luck.